A post for a page in my parenting book.
Sometimes extreme challenges arise and we can choose to stand up and face our challenges or shrink down and let them wash over us like the relentless ocean waves. I have been choosing the ocean waves with Edward for a while now because I didn't want to deal with a battle three times a day. Yeah, I talking about the food battle. I, somehow, became "that Mom" who makes three different meals at each mealtime through out the day. Was that easier than dealing with a tantrum? I told myself, yes.
Today, I had enough. I went to sleep around 1:30 AM after a long night at rehearsal and then helped spike the set. Let's just say, this wasn't the best day to pick to battle my two year. In any case, like I said, I had enough. Edward said he was hungry. I dutifully went to the kitchen and cooked him a scrambled egg. Edward promptly came to the kitchen and told me "NO EGG!" I asked him what he wanted to eat. He replied a resounding "NO" to everything I offered. I thought to myself, "I have given him so many choices, yet he chooses to be unhappy and not eat." I decided, in my sleepy state, to just put the egg on the table and tell him that was his breakfast.
Let the tantrums begin! Edward even hit me twice so he had to spend some time in time-out then apologize before he could join us back at the table. I ignored Edward for about 20 minutes while I fed Nolen and ate my own delicious breakfast. The crying continued and was followed by, "I too sad to eat." I was really about to give in, then I had an amazing idea. I stayed calm (surprising, I know) and told Nolen he could have a Popsicle for eating all of his breakfast.
Oh, the crying got louder! "I want Popsicle!" I said, calmly, "You may have a Popsicle once you eat all of your breakfast." Something changed in Edward. He jumped up on his chair and ate EVERY LAST BITE! I really wanted to force the feed Edward at this point but somehow managed to stay calm. In the end he didn't even want a Popsicle, he was just hungry.
I try to pick my battles carefully. I pick battles I know I can win but is that really fair? I am scared of losing...to a two year old! I have attempted potty training and haven't had a single success. Not one. I know we are all afraid of failure but I am pretty sure I would rather have a successful man leave my house than a sad little boy who can't use the potty nor eat anything that is prepared for him.
One small step in the right direction. We will see if lunch goes any better...
7 comments:
Don't stress about the potty training- I tried and tried without success. One day I could tell he was totally ready- I told him we were out of diapers (not really but he didn't know that:) we have never turned back. He was almost 3 so don't worry- it is tons easier if they are willing and ready!
Good job by the way on standing up at meal time- I need to work on this!
Good job staying calm! It's so hard, but so worth it. :-)
Our rule in our house is if you don't eat it, well, then, you don't eat it! It's not like we have gross stuff but if they don't like something, then they have to wait till the next meal. I do like them to pick some stuff like, peanut butter and jelly or peanut butter and honey! But those are the only 2 choices! :) Hang in there, it'll get better and I think you've figured out the "how to stay calm" part so you'll be able to do it again and again. He's just trying to push the boundaries and as his parent, you have to push him in the right direction. Oh, and yeah, potty training! Oh my goodness, that's one that I wait for the kids to be ready or I just go cold turkey. If it doesn't work after a couple days, I went back. I couldn't handle cleaning up crap (literally). But that's just me ... and probably every other mom too. :)
Way to go Julie!
So...did lunch go any better?? I think you worry too much; you are a fantastic mother and your boys are going to grow up into exceptional men that any woman would be happy to marry!!! Jules, we are all "that mom" every once in awhile...it's completely normal. We are not perfect. You are doing a great job! Keep up the good work! :) Love ya!
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